Love: Our Greatest Gift and Tool For Destruction
Love: Our Greatest Gift and Tool For Destruction
It is interesting that the majority of us live life naive from its impermanence. The dreams and wishes for our future’s manifested within the realm of societal beauty. Rarely do we apprehend that these romantic dreams might be castrated at a moments notice. We live in aged innocence, credulous to our bodies withering attitudes. It is fear which enables our blindness.
Irrational hope is no better, as devout people might testify they possess no fear of termination, but they are madhatter as the rest. Fear and sadness are logical of cessation, especially when one feels caught between two fires. With birth there is the promise of death, it is an indispensable truth.
With this well-anchored god, this essential must, what is left in life? There is only how we choose to live this life which we so preciously uphold. The further we depart from the illusion of permanence, the more we become free to connect with a reality which evokes understanding and joy.
Hidden under the thoughtless illusion of fear is a life of shambles and intent meant to distract from reality, a reality which dictates everything must come to an end. This half-life, this illusion, which we initially conceive to be beautiful and stunning, is really a veil of wasted time. We however are not at fault for its creation. As tiny children, in a massive world, all we know is impermanence. Wonders surrounded our tiny senses, bathing us in a joy of true naivety.
There comes a time when this naivety of life no longer serves us. Through emotional reciprocity, holding steadfast, sailing into pain and fears, we may shed our layers of beguiled illusion. In the end, we become whole. We grow to love the impermanence, and cherish what is fragile. It is not pain which we escape, or fear of death, but regret that we are able to leave behind. For in return we gain the ability to append immense joy to our lives. Joy more vivid than any illusion of permanence.
The depths to our love transform, as holding a lover to our chest, we find a new meaning to love. We come to adore the semblance of their fragility, and experience immense joy for the precious seconds we may have with them. Selfishness falls away transforming to altruism. Life is impermanent, but it still matters.
Being alone makes ones body worship and yearn for touch and attention. It makes one think back to memories of connection and intimacy. Daydreams of warm lips and the buzzing aura of magnetic energy between two people. Those common comforting memories of warm sunshine cast down across ones brow, midst flowing footsteps and hands clasped tight, drifting away to a united reality. Being alone is a poetic and painful reminder of how wonderful it is to share space with another, and how time becomes meaningless when fingertips meet skin. When all the muck and layers of confusion have left us, and we become whole people, we realize what love really is all about.
Sometimes that realization though comes to late… sometimes it comes after great harm has been done. Sadly, it is often only through shattering ourselves, and experiencing loss and pain that we are able brush away the broken pieces, peering through the fresh wounds of messy despair, and discover what it means to be a good human being. But we cannot go back, we can only learn and move forward. In taking these tender steps forward, gingerly wandering away from all our old patterns, we come to realize an essential fact. The extent to which we understand, accept, cherish, and learn of our innate and past selves, is the extent to which we may deeply love and worship others. And by diving in head first and sitting with our deepest sufferings may we find the salvation to love unconditionally.
We also cannot force forgiveness, or mend the sorrow of our wrongdoings, but we can, however, be gentle and purposeful with who and how we love. We can learn from our mistakes, and grow to never repeat them. In life there will always be pain, however, the love we learn to feel becomes something immense. In the beginning we dive into love naive, playing with our lovers for fun, out of joy. Later, through heartache we learn about loss, forgiveness, dedication, worth, self discovery, shame, and later, a different kind of joy. We learn that loving someone means protecting them, and standing by them no matter what, and loving them through their own self-discovery. Most importantly, always being on their side, advocating for their needs, and being the arms and chest they can crawl to, and wrap up within.
When we are young, we think of love as those intense moments of joy and ecstasy which being attached provides us. But this is only love untested. Real love is standing by someone as they fall apart, enduring pain and seeing their worth. Realizing that your lovers self discovery is a gift. Love is letting go of ones ego, and acting selflessly, and becoming vulnerable in the face of fear. Love is also not synonymous with happiness, but closer akin to understanding.
Love is not always an easy path to take, but you will invariably know when you are on it. The path of love is bumpy, challenging, and sometimes frightening. There will even be times that love will feel capricious or fitful, but these pains are there for learning. The path of love will always challenge you to become a better person, and to let go of the fears which hold you back. Love will use unconventional methods to break you down, like loss, regret, sorrow, joy, confusion, longing, and grief. But as love breaks you down, it will always be there to lead you towards healing and growth.
Love is more than about how someone makes you feel, if this was love, it would never last. Love is about commitment, and dedicating time, energy and support to seeing someone else’s life unfold in front of you, for the joy of just being a part of their little journey, for as long as it lasts. This other person, who no doubt will face inescapable pain, suffering, love, joy, discovery, and one day, death. Because all we have is today, and there is no promise of tomorrow. Love is the greatest gift we can give, and also our greatest tool for destruction.
This is love, and this is what I hope to share.